Ramblings

Random Thoughts

I am glad that you have given me the chance to express myself in words freely and without fear of punishment. You know me better than I know myself at times and I guess I just need this escape here to work thru things since You are not with me every day.

I am not sure if this is the calm before the storm. I am not certain of a lot of things. I am not certain how to discuss certain things with you. You are the strong silent type and sometimes that really annoys the hell out of me.

Things are at a weird place again for us aren't they? I have a feeling that you are doing things on your own again and I have to say, I am not very happy about it. I have come to depend on your strength each and every day in my life and for some odd reason I feel that slipping away from me. Maybe I am sensing things incorrectly, but this time I don't feel that I am.

Long ago you asked me what my needs were, and I told you the only needs I have are to be respected and to help me grow and learn. I vowed to listen to you, to respect my place before you, to trust you, to obey you, to serve you, to love you.
Although I faltered, I wonder if that has caused you to change?

How do I even tell you the thoughts in my head? How can I know what you are feeling if all I get from you is "Oh, stop". So, as the good little submissive that I am, I stop and then the thoughts get pushed aside until we hang up the phone.
Everytime I want to say something the words get choked up because you have to grab another call or whatever is going on.

Always yours,
your angel